23 July, 2010

The Story of Bernard Prince

The first of the sex abuse scandals to erupt within our Pembroke Diocese.

The Story of Bernard Prince

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous23 July, 2010

    Big,Big Problem in this Diocese...has been for years with nothing but cover-ups and pay-outs.Prince is the first one to have been 'found out'...just ask a few of the faithful in certain areas

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  2. Fr. Tim,
    Welcome back!

    Father..my aunt knows this woman who's son was a victim of Bernard Prince. This woman's son killed himself because the poor grieving woman told her, 'he could not get over what that priest did to him.'

    A few seconds later my aunt tells me,'I do not understand these boys? You would think what happened to them once they would stay away from that priest.'

    I said I do not know the situation(I really didn't)but he(the priest)is an adult & they were minors

    Some of these Polish Catholics will stand by their priest no matter what even if they do evil criminal acts. I should say here alleged?
    It is like the victims are invisible!

    If that lad heard things like that & that was the kind of help he got in that area. No wonder that person saw the only way out was by DEATH!

    I learned to listen to some of these elderly folks.
    Some conversation are like...."It is sad what that priest did, Oh! we should stop & pray...it is not good to talk about our priests like that."
    Then a short while later it is back to revealing certain facts or is it fiction?

    'There is another priest that was link to young boys. Yes, it is rumored he killed himself. I didn't go to the wake because it was in the winter & it is hard for me to get around. But my daughter & her husband went. They told me this priest was bloated! I know he died in a Kingston hospital. It is sad he was in a coma for that length of time. You know he was buried so quickly, I do not think there was even time for an autopsy.'

    Fr. Tim. to you it is just rumors but when I questioned my aunt that WE should be careful what we say about that certain priest. She replied to me: no..no..it is true because their devoted parish priest told two of his faithful parishioners: "I shouldn't say this but, he died of an overdose."

    So you have these folks praying for a beloved priest that died. It is business as usual. Sometimes it is like the victims are being blame for the priests' evil actions.

    I did hear rumors myself from folks from another area that does add to the plot thickens so to speak. Nevertheless, it is just hearsay but it still smells like there & were cover-ups.

    I tend to agree with what Anonymous said...

    'Big,Big Problem in this Diocese...has been for years with nothing but cover-ups and pay-outs.Prince is the first one to have been 'found out'...just ask a few of the faithful in certain areas.'

    As for asking a few faithful in certain areas? Good luck with that. I am not being flippant here. These folks will only reveal certain facts if they do not feel threaten to exposure because if there is any doubt they will give the benefit of their doubt to the Holy Roman Catholic Church they believe strongly in.
    Do you recall what the late Bishop Windle said about the loyalty of these good faithful Catholics. I am paraphrasing here: 'They will not cause trouble they will stand by their priest.' That is what the Church is/was banking on, to keep certain sticky problems/situations hidden?

    The only way they probably reveal some facts if there are force by the law or you put an undercover cop & get them on tape.

    I am no Mrs. Columbo or Nancy Drew.

    Lord have mercy on us all, & all the victims!

    Lina

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  3. Father Steve Ballard,

    I simply wanted to clear a dead priest’s name. I wanted to prove (to myself) he was not that person these folks were saying he was. He did not commit suicide? He would not do that? There were so much facts/rumors coming at me at every which way. This priest was a teacher before he became a priest. He also was a convert to Catholicism, this I was told by a St. Joseph nun.

    My own brother was in the teaching field & he shared with his wife before this man became a priest he kind of figured then he had homosexual tendencies. I believe this priest had to have lied at his formation.
    If he could lie there then he entered the priesthood for the wrong reasons. What I heard about him being link to young boys may not be that far fetch? He may have had the same problem as Bernard Prince?

    I agree Father; it is not healthy to dwell on the negative. That was a tough lesson for me to learn. By digging up the past I found out I was molested when I was a little girl. I have come to terms with that. I did get help. It was a stranger & God only knows who he is. I am ready to move on because I took this issue of mine as far as I can.

    There is no doubt what happened in this Diocese in the last few years (clergy scandals) has rattled my faith to the core. For sure I have taken some memories of truth or rumors, fact or fiction and enhanced them, then put them in the present where they have no business there. I'm trying hard; I'm doing my best, hopefully with God’s help I will do even better.

    I never felt so much anger & passive aggressiveness inside me, all aim towards the Roman Catholic Church.

    I do not expect perfection in a Catholic priest. I do expect priests to be a little bit holy but not this pedophile/molester thing stuff.
    I am trying hard to stop that waging war in my head but I believe I am broken.
    In time I will be alright. I still believe in God’s mercy & compassion.

    I did not go through & take my own life as I planned it. It would be so sad for my loved ones to read the details of my demise. I was going to do it at the altar in the church. This was going to be my perfect sacrifice for this priest. Then I remembered Jesus…on the Cross, the real perfect sacrifice.

    Do not worry; I will not take my life! I am a survivor! I am still here!

    Fr. Tim Moyle was correct when he said I was a tormented soul. He must have prayed hard for me. Good work!

    Lina

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  4. Lina
    Thank you for sharing your story..i think that you can be sure that each of us who knows it will pray for you each day of our lives and hope that you will remember each of us
















































    Lina
    thank you for sharing your story with us...i think you can be sure each of us will keep you in our daily prayer and hope you will do the same for us

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  5. Father Steve Ballard26 July, 2010

    Lina, thanks for your sharing. There is little doubt that the recent scandals do dredge up for us painful realities in our own life. The only caution I would have concerns the speculation: "I simply want to clear a dead priest's name". That is in all likelihood an impossible thing to do because there is some of what we might know and some that we might have heard. It would be better, at least in my opinion, to simply pray for him and move on.

    "If he could lie there then he entered the priesthood for the wrong reasons" : again even if someone suggested to another that they may have homosexual attractions, does not necessarily mean anything. The question would be: did he act on them! There are lots of people who may have inclinations, some of which may come and go, but they remain just inclinations. If a certain person felt they were more inclined towards attractions to men than women, that does not mean he could not enter the seminary or that he did so for the wrong reasons. For all children of God, the call is to live a chaste life according to our own vocation.

    I am not trying to be picky but just wanted to caution against drawing too many conclusions or judgments. You are right, there are some priests (as there are sisters, brothers, married men and women and single people) who may not be as holy as one might like them to be. But in many respects, outside what might happen in the public forum, these are ultimately judgments that God himself will make and we need not be troubled by them.

    Blessings!

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  6. Anonymous26 July, 2010

    Lina: Get some help from professionals for your deeply felt thoughts and fears. And for Fr Ballard.Well he is mouthing the usual stuff.Don't talk about it.Don't listen to such talk. It's just another way of trying to cover up what has been and is going on .It's the old st ick your head in the sand and ignore the world around you.Typical.

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  7. Father Steve Ballard26 July, 2010

    Anonymous, you are being unfair and uncharitable. I have never said anything about covering up present day or past abuse or scandals. If you knew me and the work I have done, you might change your mind.

    Since Lina, by her own admission, feels that she is a troubled soul, I was simply trying to offer some pastoral advice about what she can control and what she cannot. Obviously, if she has had an experience of abuse concerning anyone that should be shouted from the mountaintop and reported to the police. I was trying to simply caution her in the area of other cases that she might have heard about i.e.: Father so and so might have committed suicide; Father so and so might have had homosexual inclinations, so that must mean that he lied to the seminary. I was never intending to insult or hurt Lina but offer a word of caution since all of us might become too pre-occupied with matters over which we have no control and about people that we may have 'heard' about.

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  8. Anonymous: Let me add my voice to that of Fr. Steve, who happens to be a classmate of mine from the Seminary and a brother priest of the Diocese.

    Your remarks are wholly inappropriate and insulting, both to a man who is an excellent priest and pastor and to Lina herself. She is certainly in no need of you piling your issues on top of her. She is articulate, thoughtful and obviously a loving and caring parent. She has handled these personal and religious issues with a grace you would do well to emulate.

    Fr. Tim

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  9. Father Steve Ballard26 July, 2010

    Lina is a parishioner of mine? If I had known that, I would never have engaged in this discussion. I do not know of a Lina. I assume the individual is using a different name. But for obvious reasons I will withdraw from this conversation. While I do not intend insult to Lina or Anonymous, it is clear that when identities are not known, at least in part, this kind of sharing can become problematic - especially since Lina herself has made comments about her parish priest, which I will not comment on. Live and learn I suppose!

    Blessings to all!

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  10. One last point. Lina has identified herself as belonging to a parish that is over an hours drive from Pembroke, where Fr. Steve is a pastor. She is not one of his parishioners, nor is she connected to him in anyway - beyond his kind and compassionate outreach to her in this thread.

    Please refrain from making groundless accusations about either Fr. Steve or Lina or I will not post any further posts from you. You may be posting 'anonymously' but that does not mean that I don't know where you are writing from! I am quite capable of banning your comments from this blog if you do not adopt a more civil attitude towards participants in these pages.

    Fr. Tim

    Fr. Tim

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  11. Father Steve Ballard26 July, 2010

    As a final thought in this thread, I might offer the following as an aside: I approach a small portion of this mess from a unique vantage point - having been a victim of inappropriate touching by a priest when I was a younger man. I was not a minor - I was eighteen years old. Fortunately, at least for my part, this touching did not involve anything more than a drunken fool (the priest) making an ass of himself. Everyone in my High school knew of this man's reputation - he was gay and he, at that time, was a drunk. Fortunately I was a little older than the poor souls who were tormented and abused so badly as children. God help them. This priest no longer serves as a priest and has never been accused of any criminal activity. He left the ministry and probably may not even remember what he attempted to do to me or others during this juncture in his life.

    I was surrounded by a great group of high school friends who talked about his poor sod (the priest). We talked openly about his actions and helped to bring healing to one another.

    In case anyone is getting out their textbooks and wondering about my mental health, this matter was talked about and dealt with years ago and has not had an residual effects in my life whatsoever. For that I am grateful. For me, this was a regretable, one time event that lasted all of about 20 seconds. I have talked to a professional at one time to be certain of that.

    So when priests share, they often do so, not to be 'preachy' or to be 'high and mighty' or to bury stories. Sometimes it is from our very real experiences. After all, we are people too.

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  12. Fr. Tim & Father Steve Ballard,

    Thank you for all your prayers! Thanks Mary G.

    Anonymous, I did seek some help from medical professionals’ thanks.

    I went to this visiting priest once long ago, a Fr. Tardiff. He did not hesitate after hearing my confession to ask me to seek a doctor. I told him I believe life is sacred & I do not want to take my life. I will not describe what I told him. But he heard my confession, prayed, listen & I received absolution.
    This Fr. Tardiff did NOT say to me: ‘just say 2 Hail Mary’s & trust God & you will be fine.’ This priest did well by me!
    Remember, I hadn’t come to term with my molestation then yet.

    As for that dead priest I spoke of, he is the one that gave me some counseling. The St.Joseph nun did help me tremendously for many years. I made mistakes & they made mistakes. This priest & nun were two immature sexual beings. I include myself here.
    I wasn’t hurt physically but emotionally & in some ways even spiritually.
    After reading some information I got at the E.W.T.N. website. I saw & spoke to priest from another parish in town to get more clarification on an intimacy & sexual matters. I thank him for his time. I went home & I cried. It is then I realized I was misled by this other priest & somewhat by this nun. It may not have been intentional (not from the nun anyway) & I followed what they told me. I felt so stupid that I turned all my thinking over to them in this department. It was in 1980’s.

    I told my husband everything. I was told I would be sunk if I did not follow what they said. In other words it was my duty as a Catholic wife to make sure if I wanted to get my husband to heaven & make sure to keep my salvation intact, I better do certain things & not do certain things.
    I asked my husband if he wanted to leave me I wouldn’t blame him. He said to forget about that priest (he used not very nice words, I’ll omitted them here). Anyway, he said it is the NOW that matters. That may be an underlining reason that I am ticked off at this dead priest. He should have known better. He was well educated, held a powerful position of trust & those strong rumors about him just add more salt to my wounds. I truly believe I got marriage/sex advice from predator/molester & that made me sick & angry.

    As for the nun she was not that well educated, she was down to hurt, she experience daily intense suffering & when I was with her… Jesus was so real! Yes, she said some things sort of, off the wall stuff but I never heard bad rumors about her, or even breaking her vows. I heard positive things. Like there should be more nuns like her. She taught so much about a rich spiritual life to me. Sad to say I lost it lately but I am hopeful it will return & I will be stronger?
    I got rid of many spiritual books(in a fit of anger). There were two I just couldn't let go & I kept. One book was titled: ‘Interior Castle’ by St. Teresa of Avila. & the other book was titled: ‘The Imitation of Christ’ by Thomas a Kempis.

    I am working hard not to let rumors get to me & doing that less speculating stuff.

    I do not know if Father Steve Ballard will get this message? You haven’t hurt my feelings & what you stated in being cautious about what I can control and what I cannot control is very reasonable. I am sure you are doing your best during these hectic strange times. I like your statement: “…in many respects, outside what might happen in the public forum, these are ultimately judgments that God himself will make and we need not be troubled by them.” Yes, I somewhat act like God must not know what he’s doing? I think it is safe to say He can easily do without my help!

    I am truly sorry what happened to you Father Steve Ballard when you were young. I am glad you dealt with it early. Good for you!

    Thank you Fr. Tim!

    Blessings to all!

    Lina

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  13. Father Steve Ballard27 July, 2010

    Thanks for the message Lina. Your sincerity and honesty is very refreshing. You will be ok. God bless you!

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  14. Anonymous28 July, 2010

    I am a parishoner of Fr. Ballard's and I would bet that he is as disgusted as the rest of us with the child molesters posing as priests!

    Another Anonymous, this one from Holy Name

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  15. Welcome, Anonymous from Holy Name,

    I am sure Fr. Ballard is just as disgusted as the rest of us with these pedophiles/molesters in the priesthood.

    Did you know it was never mentioned in the news or on Borne's resume that he from (1978 to 1982) taught religion & was a counselor to a school called Catholic High in Pembroke Ontario for many years? I wonder why that was left out.

    Anyway, I did a quick research on my own & found this book written by Rev.Joseph C, Legree, he’s a Roman Catholic Priest, the Book is Titled: ‘Lift Up Your Hearts’. It was under the chapter of St. Columbkille’s Cathedral Parish-Pembroke & Interdiocesan Projects & Events. The info I found was on page 123.

    In September of 1982, Catholic High School moved to a new site at Bishop Smith School.
    The school provided Catholic education for Grades 8 to 13.

    There was a team of three Chaplains; one of them is 'R. Borne', he worked closely with the teachers & students to build a Catholic School community.

    There is more information on Monsignor Robert Borne page at Sylvia’s website. Just go to: www.theinquiry.ca/wordpress/charged/msgr-borne-could-stand-trial-this-fall/

    I'm wishing you well Anonymous & all the parishioners at your Holy Name Church.

    Lina

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  16. Father Steve Ballard29 July, 2010

    Dear Lina & Anonymous,

    This year has been for me, and I suspect many priests, one of the most painful since my ordination in 1989. But you know what, we will and we are coming out to the other side! Thank the dear Lord for the Resurrection and the great hope which is ours. We are surviving well and despite the terrible events that have occurred, healing will come. The church too will become more purified, more holy and more centred on Christ. This I feel to the core of my being. As I mentioned publicly here when things began to break in the media, "lets get the lights on and deal with all of this filth". Concerning cases still pending, no one is criminally guilty of anything unless and until the court adjudicates the matter.

    My sincerest prayers for anyone who is suffering from any abuse and the present scandals.

    Blessings!

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  17. Father Steve Ballard,

    As for concerning cases still pending no one is criminally guilty until it is settled in court so to speak by the judge. I will not dispute that statement.

    This accused man can be easily be found not guilty by the court but that doesn’t necessary mean he is not guilty of committing criminal acts towards certain (alleged) victims. The victims KNOW he did it. It just means the priest has a very smart, clever, expensive lawyer doing his job by using legal loop holes to get his client off. *(I'm referring here to 3 of the priest's victims & charges that were dropped)*

    What can we do? Pray for all those involve, that is good. Pray for the victims is good too. If this priest is found not guilty… the victims will feel and know for sure nobody will believe there was never a crime done against them. Imagine all those longs months of waiting (some years) for JUSTICE and it comes down to this, in the eyes of the court the priest is free to go because he is found not guilty.

    That doesn’t necessary mean I will like the court’s decision. I would need to learn to respect that difficult decision.

    It’s business as usual for the Church. The happy priest, his family and friends are celebrating the victory while the REAL victims are left in shock and in tears. The therapy sessions will be part of their daily lives for these victims. One day, a family member or friend may find one of the victims dead! The man just could not live with what that priest did to him. His death was caused by a terminal, chronic sadness brought on by a broken heart and a soul murdered by a well known priest from the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

    Of course, people usually talk; ‘this guy took his own life because he lied, anyway that priest was found not guilty.’

    Only the loved ones of the victims will know this is not true. There is another person who knows very well what really happened. (God knows). I am also talking about the priest, WHO KNEW but did not have the courage or guts to face HIS responsibility for his own sins & crimes.

    He should have told the Truth, the whole Truth nothing but the Truth, the way God would have wanted him to do. This man of God wanted to be free at any cost! His victims do not count, they are disposable. Like some messy trash that was following this priest around and now with a great sigh of relief these suppose and imaginary victims of his are finally in his past. All those accusations and so call lies are gone and the priest’s nightmare is over.

    Did this priest deceive a lot of decent folks in believing in him?

    I do have the right to express my opinions and I do respect those who disagree with me. This case pending that is in our diocese is on going. I for one BELIEVE the victims and I DO NOT believe in this priest. I have my valid reasons. I can easily live with my decision and I can also die with a good conscience. That is all that matters to me.

    Father Ballard you said: ‘My sincerest prayers for anyone who is suffering from any abuse and the present scandals.”

    I thank you for saying those words Father Steve Ballard. It is so good to hear those words. Many people are suffering and our goals are to be heard, healed and get some justice and closer.

    Peace to you Father Steve Ballard! Peace to you Father Tim Moyle!

    Lina

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